Celtic weddings are becoming more popular as couples search to make their special day less commercialized and more personalized.
A Celtic Ceremony. is a good way to make this happen. The Celtic tradition whether in pagan or Christian in form is a way to bring meaning and depth to marriage ceremony.
What is a Celtic wedding? One would think that question would be easily answered but it is not. The nature of the Celtic wedding differs in many regards depending upon the tradition one chooses to draw upon. In some cases you might have a ceremony that follows the patterns of a typical (if there is such a thing as typical) Irish wedding, in others a Scottish pattern, others Welsh, some mix traditions, some want pre-Christian elements, others do not, and so forth.
I will comment on the elements that might be included to create a Celtic theme in a wedding and avoid commenting on differences that might give the wedding an Irish, Scottish, or Welsh flavor in order to keep this post manageable.
Celtic elements. One basic element in a Celtic ceremony has to do with Celtic design. That is, the participants select a favorite Celtic design to use as a border around the edges of your wedding invitations, select wedding rings that employ Celtic designs (say Celtic love knots), the cake can have similar designs, as can the wedding dress, the wedding book, program, and so forth can use the Celtic knot pattern you have selected.
With a bit of thought, you will be able to create a wedding with a Celtic theme throughout. For instance, you might select the trinity Celtic knot (as per the illustration) as your design theme. This knot represents various things depending upon the context. At its most basic form, it symbolizes eternity and eternal love (it also has been connected with life stages, the Christian Trinity, and other things). Thus, you might use it to symbolize your commitment to one another. It then becomes the design you have embossed on the wedding program, napkins, etc. It gives the entire ceremony unity and depth.
You might also employ Celtic elements in the wedding, such as the Caim. The Caim involves drawing a circle around you and your intended while you take your wedding vows. The circle is a sign of your commitment to one another in God’s eyes. As the circle is drawn, the bride and groom say “The Mighty Three, My protection be, Encircle me, You are around, My life, My Love, My home, Encircle me. Oh sacred Three, The Mighty Three.” This is a powerful commitment to one another in God’s eyes. It also continues your trinity theme (you, your intended, God).
You can also light a Unity Candle. In essence, three candles are placed in a row on the wedding alter, Two of the candles are lit at the beginning of the ceremony and at the proper time, the bride and groom use the two candles to light the third (this is referred to as “Lighting the Unity Candle”). If you want to symbolize, that your former life is over, extinguish the two candles, if you want to indicate that you remain as you were with a new beginning as a couple leave all three candles remain alight. This ceremony also represents the unification of the families. Naturally, the candles can be decorated with the motif you have selected (the trinity knot, for instance).
For those who are going to make their vows truly Celtic, the following Celtic Wedding Pledge might be appropriate:
“You cannot possess me for I belong to myself, But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give. You cannot command me for I am a free person, But I shall serve you in those ways you require. And the honeymoon will taste sweeter coming from my hand. I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry out in the night, And the eyes into which I smile in the morning. I pledge to you the first bite from my meat, And the first drink from my cup. I pledge to you my living and dying, equally in your care, And tell no strangers our grievances. This is my wedding to you. This is a marriage of equals.
Handfasting is an ancient tradition that is gaining interest/momentum these days. It is Pagan in origin and differs in numerous ways from a “traditional wedding”.
The first and foremost difference is that the couple involved decides on the level of the ritual they want to commit themselves to and they marry themselves…they are not married by some officiant. We’ll consider the levels of commitment first and then discuss some of the practical considerations involved.
Simple Handfasting Ceremony
This is a simple, inexpensive ceremony in which the couple commits to sharing their lives for a year and a day (or some other agreed upon period) at which time they re-evaluate the relationship and decide whether it should continue (we called this Tying the Knot in an earlier entry).
High Rite of Handfasting
This is a much more elaborate ceremony and takes considerable time and money to accomplish. This ceremony involves a priest and priestess, friends, family and so forth. It involves a legal ceremony as well as a magical one.
In this case, the couple promises to stay together as long as the love does last (understanding of course that the couple will try to enhance the love and use all means to do so). This ceremony can take place between a pagan and a non-pagan but usually does not. The simple handfasting ceremony can also occur between a Pagan and non-Pagan.
The Rite of Becoming One
This ceremony can vary in the time and money involved but must take place between initiated Witches in a formal ceremony. The important difference in this ritual and the others is that it is an intense ritual in which couples join their physical, emotional, and magical selves.
Time Considerations
For the Simple Handfasting Ceremony allow at least 6 weeks to plan the event, for the High Rite of Handfasting allow at least 6 months, and for the Rite of Becoming One allow at least a year. The reasons for these time frames will become clearer when we consider the ceremonies in more detail.
Monetary Considerations
Handfasting ceremonies differ from traditional ceremonies in terms of who is responsible for the costs. Because it is your commitment, you and your partner should split the costs (naturally if one person has a considerable amount of $ and the other does not, costs can be unequal but the important thing is that each makes a significant contribution to the event).
Handfasting is not an inexpensive way to get married. The cost of handfasting will vary just as much as the cost of traditional weddings. If you want an elaborate ceremony/reception and very little time to invest, it will cost you a bundle to hire others to do the work. On the other hand if you have a lot of time and want a simple ceremony/reception, the event may be quite inexpensive.
For any ceremony, the clearer you are about what you want the less hassle it will be and will generally cost less. You and your partner should talk everything through before you get others involved. If you need help anticipating what needs to be considered, get a third party to help you anticipate these things.
Selecting the Site
The best way to do this is to decide on the nature of the ceremony, how many guests, and so forth then select the site. If you select the site first, you will find yourself tailoring your ceremony to suit the site. Naturally, sites vary in what they offer and what they cost. A site devoted exclusively to events of this nature can provide most of the things you may want (unfortunately, they also have a tendency to “sell” you things you may not want) and tend to be pretty costly. On the other end of the spectrum, there are sites that simply give you a key and walk away. You do everything (decorating, cleaning, cooking, etc.). Naturally, these sites are not very expensive but do require a lot of effort on your part.
Planner
The following things should be done early in the process. Initially put all your ideas down (you and your partner should do this together…it is best if you do it as a couple without third parties so you can get clear about your expectations writing this all out will then give you something to go over point by point at a later time). If you as a couple can get clear about your desired ceremony, it will be easier to resist attempts by others to make it the handfasting of their dreams rather than the handfasting of your dreams.
Anyway here is a list of considerations (similar in any wedding ceremony, really):
What kind of a ceremony do you desire?
When?
Where (alternatives if it is outside & weather is bad)?
Type of Reception?
Where will the reception be held (indoor options if the choice is outside)?
Desired officiant(s)?
Theme (if desired)?
Type of Wedding Attire (bride/groom)?
Dress for Women in the Wedding Party? Men?
Bride’s Attendants?
Groom’s Attendants?
Lodging for out of town guests?
Food for Ceremony? For Reception?
Food provided by?
Flowers? For Alter? For Bride/Attendants? For Groom/Attendants? For Parents/other special guests? For Reception? For Celebration?
Flower provider?
Candles for Ceremony?
Candle provider?
Music? Provider? Backup?
Photographer? Backup?
Transportation (to Ceremony, to Celebration, for anyone who needs it in the wedding party)? Backup?
Dates for meditations?
Dates for Enhancing Rituals?
Wording on Invitations?
Miscellaneous (any special issues you need to confront? how will you confront those issues?)?
Dealing with Religious Differences
Presumably, you and your partner have worked through your differences and what to do about them (if you are of different faiths, you might decide to conduct two ceremonies, for instance). Be absolutely certain of what you want/expect before you deal with different religious views of important others. Others generally view pagans with suspicion and/or intolerance. You need be clear about what you are going to do before you tackle others views.
Some couples decide that it is their ceremony and that the others will simply go along. That is a very questionable assumption, those attending the ceremony with no idea of what to expect may feel duped, may get angry, may disrupt the ceremony, and so forth. For the sanctity of the Handfasting Ceremony, I strongly urge you to let all those you intend to invite know what you are planning. You may find that the attitude of some is so extreme that you should not invite them to the ceremony. For the major participants (parents in particular), be sure to let them know well in advance about your plans. You may find your parents so opposed that you will wind up with them being unwilling to participate. I would hope you know your parents well enough to have expected extreme reactions and are prepared to go forward without their participation. I know that may be a very difficult decision to make, but, unless you want your parents to dictate your wedding plans, you may have to exclude them (or others from the ceremony). Good luck dealing with these thorny issues…please, please don’t stick your head in the sand and just spring a Handfasting on non-Pagans that is a formula for disaster. I know others should be more tolerant but…
Basics of a Simple Handfasting
A simple handfasting (for gay or heterosexual couples) is a way of committing to another for a year and a day. It is a way to explore the relationship’s potential without an everlasting commitment. As with all Handfasting Ceremonies the couple should be clear about their needs/desires otherwise…
One needs an alter, an officiant, a circle, objects of consequence to the couple.
Step One. The officiant casts the circle (say with sea salt and rose petals) then states something like:
We have gathered together to witness the Handfasting for a year and a day of ___________ and ___________. We gather to add our energies and intention to their energy and intention. If there are those among us who cannot enter into this spirit, who do not agree wholeheartedly with these intentions and energies, please leave now. (pause briefly to allow any who wish to leave to leave).
Step Two. Now that we all are as one vis a vis the intention of this Handfasting, we can begin this ceremony of commitment. We call now on the power of the Great Mother, the Mother who holds all and who breaks all. We call on the power of the Horned One; he who protects us; he who solves challenges; and he who knows the ways of passage. (long pause)
———– and ———- come forward and state your intentions (couple steps forward into the circle).
———— states her/his intention as clearly as she is able. These are vows to be written by the participants.
———— states his/her intention as clearly as possible.
Step Three.
Officiant. We have heard and understood your intentions. We add our energy to your energy. However, all such commitments require an act of binding. Tell us now of your act of binding.
Couple now does the act of binding. This can be very simple with the exchange of rings (or another object) or very elaborate (lot’s of ritual objects that are explained in turn and placed in a bag). I think a Handfasting Braid should be involved but not all Handfastings include this braid (rope). Somewhere in here, usually at the end, the couple states their intention to remain together for a year and a day.
Step Four.
Officiant We have heard you and bear witness to what you intend.
Couple lights a candle, feeds one another cake, shares cake with those present.
Officiant Great Mother and Horned Hunter, we thank you for your presence. Let what has been said and done here be remembered.
Group So shall it be.
Conclusion.
It is off to the reception to celebrate this Handfasting.
MORE DETAILED HANDFASTING RITUAL
” Traditional HandfastingTime: Best performed at the time of the new moon.
Setting: Bedeck the ritual area in flowers of many types, particularly the favorites of the couple, and roses. The altar should be arranged as usual, plus 2 white candles, incense of a flower scent, and a willow wand. Dress is up to the couple. Celtic tradition is that the bride where’s some kind of veil or netting and an article of scarlet. The couple should bring wedding rings and small symbolic gifts for each other if desired. The priest/ess fits the rings over the willow wand, then lay them on the altar.. After lighting the candles and incense, the priest and priestess face the gathering, backs toward the altar. Priest:
May the place of this rite be consecrated for the Gods. For we gather here in a ritual of love With two who would be wedded. _______ and _______ please come forward and stand here before us, and before the gods of nature.
They couple comes forward and stands before the Priest and Priestess, groom in front of Priestess, bride in front of Priest.
Priestess:
Be with us here, O beings of the Air With your clever fingers Tie closely the bonds between these two.
Be with us here, O beings of Fire Give their love and passion your own all-consuming ardor
Be with us here, O beings of Water Give them the deepest of love and the richness of the body, of the soul and of the spirit.
Be with us here, O beings of Earth Let your strength and constancy Be theirs for so long as they desire to remain together
Blessed Goddess and Laughing God Give to these before you, we do ask your love and protection Blessed Be.
All:
Blessed Be.
Priestess and Priest hold up the wand between them with the rings upon it. Priestess:
Place your right hands over this wand and your rings his hand over hers
Above you are the stars below you are the stones as time does pass Remember Like a star should our love be constant Like a stone should your love be firm Be close, but not too close Posses one another, but be understanding Have patience each with the other For storms will come, but they will go quickly Be free in the giving of affection and warmth Make love often, and be sensuous with one another Have no fear and let not the ways or words of the unenlightened give you unease For the Goddess and the God are with you, Now and Always.
(Pause for five heartbeats) Priestess: I
s it your wish, _bride’s name_ to become one with this man? (bride gives her answer) Is it your wish, _groom’s name_ to become one with this woman? (groom gives his answer) Do any say nay? Then, as the Goddess and the God and the Old Ones Are witness to this rite I now proclaim you husband and wife.
A kiss is appropriate at this time, and the tokens may be exchanged. The ceremony is then over and the cakes and wine on the altar should be served at the revel that follows.”
This ritual was detailed in:
Slater, H. (1978) A Book of Pagan Rituals,Weiser Inc. NY, NY. HIGH RITE OF HANDFASTING AND THE RITUAL OF BECOMING ONE
These rites are complicated and go well beyond the scope of this book. Those interested in detailed information on these rites are referred to:
Rhea, L. M. (2001), Handfasted and Heartjoined, Kensington Publishing Corp: NY, NY.
The expression “tying the knot” probably evolved from the traditional Celtic wedding ceremony called hand-fasting. In a ceremony of this nature the couple holds hands with guests encircling them. The couple simply pledges themselves to each other and gently binds their hands together with a cord, a strip of cloth or tartan. No third party is involved (minister, priest, judge, etc.). Hand-fasting is essentially a trial marriage contract that lasts for a year and a day, if things do not work out the two simply go their separate ways.
Bealteine celebrates the start of summer. The term itself refers to shimmering fire (like a rising sun reflecting on a shimmering lake). This celebration takes place out of doors during the daytime. It is a time for action, a time to get going, a time to take care of business. It is also a fertility celebration. In the past, it involved a rite of passage for men. At the right time, they were armed.
An interesting aspect of this festival was a rule that anyone could say anything they liked to anyone else without fear of reprisal. This may not seem all that unusual to Americans who are used to doing this any time. However, in the days of serfs/masters, it was highly unusual.
Imbolg differs from the other Celtic Fire Festivals (Samhain, Bealteine, and Lughnasadh) because the entire group does not celebrate it. It is a festival for the family and takes place at home. It is a time to think about the start of spring, a time to be with family, and a time to decide how to implement the things decided on during Samhain (the end of summer festival and a time for self-reflection). This festival is unique in that it is the only festival that is prepared by women.
St. Brigid is an integral part of this festival. To that end, a doll representing Brigid is constructed. When the house is ready, the doll is taken outside and Brigid called. Subsequently, the doll is brought into the house and represents Bridget at the festivities.
Another aspect of this festival has to do with predicting the onset of spring. In Scotland, they search to see if snakes are out and about. If so, an early spring is predicted (in Ireland they look for hedgehogs…these are both similar to Groundhog day in the United States).
Lughnasadh is a harvest festival. It is connected to one of the few Pan-Celtic Gods, Lugh. It literally means Lugh’s betrothal feast. The festival marks the end of summer and the start of the dying season. It is celebrated by the entire group, outside, and lasts overnight. It is a time to reap the rewards of the summer, to acknowledge changes, and get ready for the dark season. It was considered to be the dying season because animals that could not be fed over the winter were slaughtered.
The rituals associated with Lugh are interesting. To this day, a doll holding a spear is prepared and placed near the festivities. Lugh’s betrothal is with Mother Earth. To complete the betrothal Lugh must return to the earth. Thus, he is symbolically killed by the men at the festival (throwing spears until the doll is knocked to the earth). It must be done to ensure a good harvest the following year.
Samhain is celebrated by Celts at the end of summer. It marks the end of summer and the beginning of the new year. It is/was a time to wrap up summer activities and get ready for winter. Samhain is celebrated by the entire group (versus Imbolog which is celebrated in family groups), out of doors, and lasts the entire night.
It is a time for inner reflection and a time to square yourself away. This festival has been adopted by other western cultures and is generally called Halloween. There is minimal connection between Samhain and Halloween these days. Halloween is somewhat frivolous while Samhain is serious and not to be taken lightly…though all involved enjoy themselves. Most importantly, Halloween has come to rest on the premise of a devil or evil. Celts do/did not believe in devils and/or evil spirits. Thus, Samhain is at once more and less serious than Halloween. For Celts, it is/was the time of the “in-between”. That is, a change from the time of light to the time of dark. It was/is thought that spirits could move easily from one realm to the other. These were/are not evil spirits but ancestors returning to visit loved ones.
Saint Finnian was born in Ireland, studied in Wales, but returned to Ireland upon the completion of his studies. During his studies, it is said that he was an outstanding student.
Being a particularly good student, he was excused from chores that other students had to undertake. He was not well liked for this but did not know that. At some point, he was criticized for being lazy. He said he would do his share. The supervisor told him that no oxen were available and that he would need to find some deer to harness. Much to the amazement of everyone, Finnian went to the woods and returned with two harnessed stags (the stags were harnessed and waiting for him by an angel when he went to find deer to harness). Needless to say, he and the stags did more work than all the others, who were suitably impressed and left him to his studies thereafter. Upon his return to Ireland, he worked with Saint Brigid. When it was time to leave Brigid’s monastery, she tried to give him a gold ring, which he adamantly refused because he had taken a vow of poverty. She persisted telling him he would need the ring. He still refused. During the journey home he stopped by a stream to refresh himself. When he placed his hands in the stream, Brigid’s gold ring magically appeared on his finger. It turned out that he did indeed need the ring to purchase the freedom of a man who became his right hand man.
St. Finnian established a number of monasteries and is well known for his many good deeds. His monastery was the center of learning for years and years. Many students studied under St. Finnian. He is credited with tutoring the Apostles of Ireland (12 Irish Saints).
St. Andrew is the Patron Saint of Scotland. St. Andrew’s Day is celebrated by Scots around the world on November 30. Interestingly, St. Andrew, one of Jesus’ disciples, was never in Scotland when he was alive. However, portions of his remains were sent to Scotland 300 or so years after his death. There are many versions of how this came to be. One of the most popular is that Emperor Constantine was going to move Saint Andrew’s remains. An angel warned the resident monk this was going to take place and that he should send the remains to the ends of the earth. To a monk in Greece at that time, Scotland filled the bill and St. Andrews remains were shipped to Scotland. Thus, St. Andrew’s remains were brought ashore at St. Andrews where a chapel and later a cathedral were built to house them.
During the reformation, the cathedral was destroyed and the remains lost. A plaque was erected to memorialize the spot. However, in 1879 portions of St. Andrew’s remains were shipped from Italy where some of his bones had been taken. Later, 1969 to be exact, Pope Paul VI gave some further St. Andrew’s relics to the Catholic church in Scotland.
The cross in the Scottish flag below reflects the cross (called a saltire) on which St. Andrew was tortured to death due to his association with Jesus and his success at spreading the Christian gospel. Needless to say, the Scottish flag carries immense, intense symbolism.
Saint Patrick is the Patron Saint of Ireland. Of course, we all know that due to the celebrations that take place around the world on St. Patrick’s Day.
Interestingly, St. Patrick was not born in Ireland but in England. During his youth, he was abducted from England and forced into slavery in Ireland as a sheepherder. During that time, he developed a deep and profound relationship with God. God eventually led him to a ship, which whisked him away from slavery toward his destiny. After entering the priesthood, he was called back to Ireland because he heard strong calls from the Emerald Isle. Saint Patrick was responsible for many miracles (producing food as needed, changing forms, etc.). He is also responsible for banishing snakes from Ireland and bringing Christianity to Ireland. One way he accomplished the Christian conversion of Ireland was by relating Christian rituals to Pagan ones. For instance, he explained the trinity by using a shamrock plucked from the soil (Pagans hold the principle of three and natural elements to be of considerable consequence) to explain the trinity. After his death in 461, his followers spread Christian religion far and wide as they spread out from the monasteries he established. It is easy to see why he is held in such high regard in Ireland.
